July 23, 2010
National news is reporting that a man dressed as Darth Vader robbed a Long Island bank earlier this morning. The story is the number second most searched item on Yahoo! And is creating quite a buzz around the internet.
(See the story here: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100723/ap_on_fe_st/us_odd_darth_vader_bandit_4)
New reports have surfaced that the offender may have been captured. According to first-hand accounts, a man dressed as Captain Kirk from Star Trek fame was seen entering a Star Wars convention being held approximately 250 miles from where the bank robbery took place.
(See the story here: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100723/ap_on_fe_st/us_odd_darth_vader_bandit_4)
New reports have surfaced that the offender may have been captured. According to first-hand accounts, a man dressed as Captain Kirk from Star Trek fame was seen entering a Star Wars convention being held approximately 250 miles from where the bank robbery took place.
The man was reportedly acting very belligerent upon entering while calling out for “Any pussy Darth Vaders who like robbing innocent people”. A small ruckus ensued causing mild chaos before the man pulled out what appeared to be a home-made taser-type gun and threatened to vaporize every Darth Vader in the room unless someone confessed to the crime. By the time police arrived, the disgruntled Star Trek fan had already attacked and punched more than 25 people dressed as Darth Vader. He then dragged an unconscious Vader out of the conference room and took off down a side street dragging him by his cape.
The man’s whereabouts are now unknown, although police did receive a message stating the following:
“This is Captain James T. Kirk of the Starship Enterprise. It is my sole duty to uphold justice throughout the galaxy and I am pleased to tell you that I now have Darth Vader in custody and it is once again safe for people to go about their daily lives thanks to me. I’m working with my team to determine a suitable punishment for Vader in retaliation for his heinous crime of robbing a respectable bank of nearly $500 and possibly setting them back weeks or even months. Darth Vader is evil and I will not allow evil to reign under the watch of Captain T. Kirk. Also, Star Wars is for faggots. The Enterprise could blow the shit out of both the Death Star and the Maltese Falcon. Kirk signing out.”
This story will be updated as soon as new information is in.
I don't want to rat anyone out here, but it's possible that your mystery man could be a resident of Hawaii. I will not give up any names, but he has been formerly known as "Will the Thrill" and is currently teaching high school English. I'll investigate myself and follow up at a later date, thank-you.
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